The elementary school years are a whirlwind phase of growth and discovery for kids. This stage is where they begin to develop their reasoning skills, understand rules, and become more self-aware. It’s also a time when kids seek greater independence—and often test boundaries in the process.
For parents, this mix of rapid development and growing independence can be exciting, but let's be honest, it can also add challenges to daily life as a family. But with the right tools and strategies, you can help your child thrive while strengthening your relationship along the way.
Building Strong Parent/Child Relationships
One of the best things you can do for your elementary-age child is to nurture a close, supportive relationship. This doesn’t mean you need to be a “friend” instead of a parent—kids still need structure and guidance—but finding meaningful ways to connect builds trust and helps them feel secure.
Spend (Screen-Free) Downtime Together
Between everyone's busy schedules and the constant pull of technology, it’s easy to let quality time slip through the cracks. But it's important to prioritize regular, screen-free moments to focus on each other. Playing board games, baking cookies, or exploring your local parks are tech-free experiences that allow you and your child to bond in meaningful ways.
Bonus points if the activity involves some creativity or collaboration—think crafts, building LEGO masterpieces, or planning a weekend picnic together!
Family Meetings
Another great way to connect and build trust is by having family meetings. These don’t need to be formal or overly structured; think of them as regular check-ins where everyone’s voice is heard. You can use this time to discuss schedules, air any frustrations, and celebrate little wins like an A+ spelling test or the winning goal in a recent soccer game.
Prioritizing Their Educational Journey
Elementary school sets the foundation for a child’s lifelong love of learning, and you can support this journey by being actively involved in your child's education. Pamela Myers shares in an article for the Child Development Institute that, "Children who have involved parents are more happy, healthy, and well-adjusted and excel at their educational and extracurricular pursuits."
Designated Homework Time
Set aside a specific time each day for homework and make it part of the daily routine. Consistency helps kids understand that their education is a priority and gives them the structure they need to focus. Create a quiet, distraction-free workspace, and be available to offer guidance when needed—but let them take the lead on completing their tasks.
Keep Open Communication with Teachers
Teachers are your allies when it comes to your child’s education. Make an effort to stay in touch with them throughout the school year—not just during parent-teacher conferences. Ask about your child’s progress, strengths, and areas for improvement, and work together to create a plan that supports their growth.
If your schedule allows, sign up to volunteer in your child's classroom once or twice during the school year. At this age, kids LOVE seeing their parents at school (even if they pretend to be embarrassed)!
Use Positive Reinforcement
Celebrate effort as much as achievements. A simple “I’m proud of how hard you worked on that project” can go a long way in building your child’s self-esteem and encouraging a growth mindset. Focus on the process rather than the outcome, especially during these early years when kids are just beginning to develop their academic skills.
Resist the Urge to Over-Schedule
It can be tempting to fill your child’s calendar with sports, music lessons, and other extracurriculars, but balance is key. Watch for signs that your child might be over-scheduled, such as fatigue, irritability, or lack of enthusiasm for activities they once enjoyed. Free play is essential for creativity, relaxation, and play.
Creating Healthy Habits
Elementary school is the perfect time to help kids establish healthy routines that will serve them well into adulthood.
Personal Hygiene and Self-Care
Start teaching your child the importance of daily habits like brushing their teeth, washing their hands, and keeping their belongings tidy. These little responsibilities help them build independence and create a sense of pride in their personal care.
Balanced Meals, Regular Physical Activity, and Good Sleep
Good nutrition, exercise, and sleep are super important when it comes to brain development. Involve your child in meal planning and prep to teach them about healthy eating. Encourage physical activity through sports, dance, or simply playing outside. And set a bedtime routine to ensure they’re getting the sleep their growing bodies need.
Supporting Emotional Development & Self-Regulation
Helping your child navigate their emotions is one of the most important roles you play as a parent. Emotional awareness builds a foundation for healthy relationships and self-confidence. By helping guide your child through their feelings, you're giving them the tools they need to handle challenges, communicate effectively, and empathize with others.
Help Children Express Their Feelings
Many children in this age group struggle with big emotions and how to express them. Create a safe environment where they feel comfortable sharing their emotions, and teach them how to identify and express their needs.
According to the UW-Madison Parenting and Family Relationships Division of Extension, strong communication skills help kids build positive relationships and develop self-regulation: "As kids get older it can still be really difficult for them to understand and express their feelings, thoughts, and emotions. It may also be difficult for them to pick up on body language (non-verbal cues) from other people. Our job as a parent is to help them build strong and positive relationships by using good communication skills."
Limiting Screen Time
While technology has its benefits, too much screen time can interfere with a child’s emotional well-being, academic performance, and physical health. Setting clear boundaries helps kids strike a healthier balance.
- Create a Family Media Plan: Work together to set guidelines on when, where, and how devices can be used. For instance, establish device-free zones like bedrooms or during meals.
- Encourage Offline Alternatives: Provide engaging, non-screen activities such as arts and crafts, reading, or outdoor play. The goal is to make offline options as appealing as screen time.
- Model Healthy Screen Habits: Kids are more likely to follow screen-time rules if they see you practicing them too. Limit your own usage during family time and prioritize face-to-face interactions.
- Be Mindful of Content: Monitor what your child is watching or playing, and encourage educational or age-appropriate content when screens are used.
Remember, the goal isn’t necessarily to eliminate screens but to use them in a way that complements your child’s growth and development.
Encouraging Independence
Fostering independence is about finding the sweet spot between guidance and freedom. It involves knowing when to step back and allow your child to explore on their own while being available for support when needed.
Assign Age-Appropriate Chores
Chores are an excellent way to teach responsibility and teamwork. For younger kids, simple tasks like picking up toys, feeding a pet, or watering plants are manageable and fun. Older elementary-age children can take on responsibilities like setting the table, folding laundry, or helping with meal prep. Make sure to offer praise and encouragement—acknowledging their efforts reinforces the importance of contributing to the family.
Allow Your Child to Take Small Risks
As Jonathan Haidt points out in The Anxious Generation, exposure to small, manageable risks helps kids develop resilience. Let your child navigate minor challenges—like climbing a tree, biking around the block, or solving a playground dispute—without stepping in too quickly. These moments of trial and error are crucial for building problem-solving skills and self-confidence. Encourage them to learn from mistakes and celebrate their successes, no matter how small. This kind of independence builds grit and adaptability, preparing them to handle larger challenges in the future.
Introduce New Privileges
Granting age-appropriate privileges, like their first phone or smartwatch, helps kids feel trusted and capable. Tools like the COSMO smartwatch strike a perfect balance by giving kids a taste of independence while keeping you safely connected. It's the ideal 'first phone' because kids get to experience responsibility, while parents can easily see how they handle it. Plus, it's a phone actually made for kids, with no open internet or social media, so you can feel confident they’re exploring the world in a safe, age-appropriate way.
New privileges might also include letting them walk to a friend’s house, stay home alone for short periods, or manage a small allowance. These steps toward greater responsibility teach kids the value of trust and accountability. Just be sure to set clear expectations and boundaries so they understand how to handle their new privileges responsibly.
Parenting Elementary Kids With Purpose
The elementary years are a season of growth, opportunity, and transformation—for both kids and parents. While the road can be bumpy, the love and guidance you provide now will have a lasting impact on your child’s overall development. By focusing on strong relationships, healthy habits, and opportunities for independence, you can help your child thrive during this important stage of development.
