Anxiety is a normal part of growing up, but for some children, it can become overwhelming, affecting their daily lives both at home and school. As a parent, it can be heartbreaking to watch your child struggle with worries or fears they can’t seem to shake. The good news is, you’re not alone, and there are things you can do to support your child. Read on for some tips on how to help with childhood anxiety and how to help your child manage their feelings.
Are Anxiety Disorders Common in Kids?
Anxiety disorders are more common in children than many people realize. In fact, they’re among the most frequently diagnosed mental health conditions in kids. According to data from the CDC, approximately 1 in 10 children aged 3 to 17—about 10%—had a diagnosed anxiety disorder as of 2018-2019.
There are several types of anxiety disorders that affect children:
- Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD): Excessive worry about everyday situations, like school performance or being late, often disproportionate to the situation, interfering with activities and friendships.
- Social Anxiety: Intense fear of social situations, leading to avoidance of activities like raising a hand in class, group participation, or attending gatherings due to fear of judgment or embarrassment.
- Separation Anxiety: Extreme distress over being apart from a parent or caregiver, causing behaviors like school refusal, trouble sleeping alone, or constant worry about something bad happening.
New Triggers and The Rise of Anxiety in Children
While anxiety has always been a part of childhood, today’s kids are facing challenges that previous generations couldn’t have imagined. From the impact of social media to major world events like the COVID-19 pandemic, these modern stressors are reshaping the landscape of childhood mental health and making anxiety worse in many children.
Social Media
Social media has dramatically reshaped childhood and affected young people's mental health, bringing new challenges that are closely tied to rising rates of mental illness and anxiety in children. In his book The Anxious Generation, social psychologist Jonathan Haidt explains how smartphones and apps like Instagram have rewired childhood, leading to a sharp rise in anxiety, depression, and even self-harm since 2012. He calls this shift the “great rewiring of childhood.”
Haidt highlights how social media has created a new stage for kids’ identities and interactions, where likes, comments, and constant comparisons add overwhelming pressure and can make a child anxious. It’s no wonder kids feel like they can’t escape it—these anxieties follow them everywhere, even into their bedrooms at night via smartphones and tablets.
If you’re wondering how to help your kids navigate this, The Anxious Generation is an eye-opener. Haidt breaks down the connection between social media and mental health, and offers practical advice for setting screen time boundaries, encouraging real-life interactions, and helping anxious children build the resilience they need in today’s digital world. It’s a must-read for every modern parent.
COVID-19 Pandemic
The COVID-19 pandemic disrupted children’s lives in ways we couldn’t have imagined. School closures, missed milestones, and worries about illness uprooted the routines and social connections that made our kids feel secure. Many older children faced heightened feelings of isolation and fear that still linger today.
Research shows that the prolonged stress of the pandemic significantly impacted kids’ mental health, with increased rates of anxiety and depression. Between academic struggles, social disconnect, and fears about their own health or loved ones, kids had a lot to cope with. For parents managing their own challenges, offering consistent emotional support wasn’t always easy, which added to the strain.
Family Stress
Family changes like divorce, moving, or even welcoming a new sibling can make young people feel worried and trigger their anxiety. These shifts in a child's life disrupt their sense of stability, leaving them unsure of their place in the family or what the future holds.
Divorce might bring worries about splitting time between parents or losing routines, while moving can feel overwhelming as kids face new surroundings and the challenge of making new friends. Even positive changes, like a new sibling, can stir up feelings of insecurity or jealousy as they adjust to sharing attention.
External Stressors
External stressors like school shooter drills are an unfortunate reality that contributes to rising anxiety in both younger children and teens. While these drills are meant to prepare children for emergencies, they can create a lingering sense of fear and helplessness, especially for younger kids who may not fully understand the concept of danger within their school.
Other stressors, like community violence, bullying, or news headlines, can also heighten a child's anxiety. Kids often struggle to process these events, which can lead to trouble concentrating, sleeping, or feeling secure in their daily lives.
Signs and Symptoms of Childhood Anxiety
Recognizing a child's anxiety can be tricky, as they often struggle to express their feelings with words. Instead, anxiety may show up in their behavior, emotions, or physical symptoms.
According to the Cleveland Clinic, common signs include:
- Frequent Worrying or Crying: Kids may seem overly concerned about everyday situations or become upset more often.
- Physical Complaints: Stomachaches, headaches, or unexplained pains can signal anxiety.
- Sleep Troubles: Difficulty falling or staying asleep, or frequent nightmares.
- Difficulty Focusing: Persistent worry can impact concentration and relaxation.
- Irritability or Anger Outbursts: Anxiety often leads to frustration and sudden anger.
- School Refusal: Fear of separation, social situations, or academic pressure.
- Changes in Appetite: Eating much more or less than usual.
If you notice these signs of anxiety in children, approach them with patience and empathy. Start by having an open conversation to understand their worries. Recognizing these behaviors is the first step in helping them navigate their anxiety.
How to Help With Childhood Anxiety
With the right tools and a supportive environment, you can help your child build resilience and navigate life’s challenges with greater confidence. Here are some practical strategies to help your child both at home and in school.
Don't Try to Eliminate Anxiety Altogether
As parents, it’s natural to want to protect your child from anything that makes them feel anxious. But as parenting expert Grace Berman, LCSW, explains in her insightful talk for the Child Mind Institute, trying to eliminate anxiety completely can actually make it worse. Instead, the goal should be to help children manage their anxiety and learn to manage it, which over time can reduce its intensity.
Berman describes anxiety as a useful emotion—it's like an alarm system that warns us about real dangers, such as a speeding car. But for kids with anxiety disorders, this alarm can go off even when there’s no real threat, creating unnecessary fear. She uses the analogy of an overactive fire alarm: “Treatment is about recalibrating our anxiety alarms so that we’re listening to our anxiety in dangerous situations and learning when anxiety isn’t helpful.”
Teach Coping Skills
Teaching kids coping strategies can empower them to handle anxiety in healthy ways. Grounding techniques, like focusing on their senses through a quick “I Spy” game, can help them stay present and redirect their anxious thoughts. Simple breathing exercises, such as pretending to blow out birthday candles, can also calm their mind and body when stress levels rise.
You can also help your child create a cozy “chill corner” filled with comforting items or encourage them to utilize creative outlets like drawing, journaling, or gentle movement to release built-up tension.
Help Your Child Talk About Their Feelings
Talking about feelings is a big step in helping kids manage anxiety, but it’s not always easy for them to explain what’s going on. As a parent, creating a safe, nonjudgmental space is key. When kids feel heard and understood, they’re more likely to open up, which is the first step toward finding solutions.
Use open-ended questions to help them share, like, “How are you feeling about tomorrow’s math test?” instead of, “Are you nervous about school?” This gives them space to express themselves without feeling boxed in.
Validate their feelings with empathy—try saying, “I know this is really hard for you” or “It’s okay to feel scared.” Then, encourage them by expressing confidence in their ability to handle the situation: “I know you’re nervous about your presentation, but I believe in you, and I’m here to help you prepare.”
Talk With a Mental Health Professional
Sometimes, even with the best support at home, kids need additional help to manage their anxiety. Seeking guidance from a mental health professional can provide your child with tools and strategies tailored to their specific needs, giving them the extra support they need to thrive.
A therapist or counselor can help your child learn techniques like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which is one of the most effective treatments for anxiety in children. CBT teaches kids to identify anxious thoughts, challenge them, and replace them with more realistic and empowering beliefs.
Therapists often work with parents to make sure the skills kids learn in therapy are supported at home. This teamwork can make a big difference in how quickly your child starts feeling more confident and in control of their anxiety.
If you’re looking for a mental health professional, a great place to start is your child’s pediatrician or school counselor. Many therapists specialize in childhood anxiety and can customize their approach to meet your family’s specific needs.
Support Your Anxious Child
Supporting a child with anxiety starts with creating a safe, open environment where they feel comfortable expressing themselves. When kids know they can come to you without judgment, it builds trust and helps them feel secure, even during tough moments.
Tools like the COSMO Smartwatch can help reinforce this connection by letting kids reach out with a quick message or call when they’re feeling overwhelmed. This simple line of communication can be a comforting lifeline.
Beyond technology, you can strengthen your relationship through:
- Family Dinners: Regular meals together offer time to check in and connect.
- One-on-One Time: Special outings or solo date nights separate from sibling dynamics help create special memories and provide opportunities for parents to give kids undivided attention.
- Bedtime Chats: A quiet conversation before bed helps kids reflect and process their day.
Resources like the Child Mind Institute’s guide to books about mental health can also help kids explore and understand their emotions in an age-appropriate way.
Most importantly, remind your child that it’s okay to feel anxious and that you’re there to help. With consistent support, open communication, and the right tools, they can build confidence and resilience to face life’s challenges.
