With a new school year fully underway, you may have noticed your child experiencing a few challenges, like navigating new relationships and, unfortunately, dealing with bullying. And there's nothing that breaks a parent's heart more than seeing their child hurt—emotionally or physically. That's why it's so important for us to understand what bullying looks like today and how we can help contribute to a safe and supportive environment for our kids, both at school and at home.
What Does Bullying Look Like in 2024?
Traditionally, we tend to think of bullies as the mean, tough kids on the playground who push and shove others. Think Butch and Woim from The Little Rascals, or Scut Farkus who bullied Ralphie in A Christmas Story. But these days, bullying has evolved beyond just physical altercations. Today, it manifests in other forms as well, including emotional manipulation and cyberbullying.
Physical Bullying
Physical bullying, such as pushing, shoving, or other violent behavior, occurs most often at school but can happen anywhere. Middle school is the age when bullying peaks, and almost all students are affected—either directly or indirectly—at some point. As kids strive to fit in, those who don’t are more likely to be targeted. According to research from bullyingstatistics.org, physical bullying is more likely to occur among boys than girls, and LGBTQIA+ kids and those struggling with gender identity are significantly more likely to experience all forms of bullying, including physical harm.
Emotional Bullying
Emotional bullying, as defined by Debra J. Pepler, a research professor at York University, is a form of relationship manipulation. It uses power and aggression to distress and control others, leading to emotional turmoil. This form of bullying can trigger emotions such as shame, anger, insecurity, and worthlessness, making it particularly harmful.
An article for the Positive Parenting Centre explains, "Statistically, it is considered the most damaging form of bullying as it is the hardest to detect...and the repetition of abuse can lead to the most devastating consequences of mental disorders and suicide attempts."
Cyberbullying
Cyberbullying, which is a relatively new concept and something that many of today's parents didn't experience as kids, has grown with the rise of social media and smartphone use. In fact, over one-third of all students experience cyberbullying, with social media being the top platform for this behavior.
Girls, in particular, are more often the victims, as online bullying occurs more frequently between girls than boys. Because it can happen 24/7, the impact of cyberbullying can be constant, leaving children feeling isolated and distressed.
Recognizing the Signs of Bullying
Especially as kids get older, they're not as willing to share every detail of their social interactions with their parents. That's why it's important to be aware of the signs that your child might be involved in bullying, whether they’re on the receiving end or taking part in it. Experts at Stopbullying.gov have outlined some key signs to watch out for so you can catch when something’s not quite right.
Signs your child may be getting bullied:
- Unexplained injuries
- Lost or damaged belongings
- Frequent headaches or stomach aches before school or school events
- Skipping meals or changes in eating habits
- Trouble sleeping or nightmares
- Declining grades or avoiding school
- Loss of friends or social withdrawal
- Feelings of helplessness or low self-esteem
- New or increased substance abuse
- Engaging in self-harm or talking about suicide
Signs your child may be bullying others:
- Frequent physical or verbal altercations
- Increasingly aggressive behavior
- Unexplained money or new possessions
- Blaming others for their problems
- Refusing to accept responsibility for their actions
- Excessive concern with popularity or reputation
If you notice any of these signs, it’s a good idea to have a conversation with your child and get to the root of what’s going on before things escalate. Keep the conversation open and supportive so they feel comfortable sharing what they're experiencing. Sometimes, just knowing they have someone in their corner can make all the difference.
How to Prevent Bullying As a Parent
You may not be able to stop bullying behavior from happening altogether, but there are some things you can do to help your child feel more confident and supported. By staying involved, teaching empathy, and encouraging open conversations, you can create an environment where your child feels safe coming to you when something's wrong.
Encourage Open Communication with Your Child
One of the most important steps you can take as a parent is to create an open and supportive environment where your child feels comfortable talking about their experiences. Help them feel heard and supported by asking questions, being available, and offering guidance. Encouraging open communication will help your child become more aware of the feelings of others and the impact of their actions.
Teach Empathy and Respect for Others
Bullying often comes from a lack of empathy for others. Teaching your child to respect others and understand different perspectives can go a long way toward preventing bullying. Encourage your child to be kind and considerate in their interactions with others, both in person and online. Remind them that if they witness bullying, it's important to stand up for others or report bullying to a trusted adult.
Be a Positive Role Model
Children imitate the behavior they see at home, so be mindful of how you treat others. You don’t need to be perfect, but showing love, support, and respect toward others will set a positive example. If they see you handle conflicts with empathy and respect, they’ll be more likely to follow your lead.
According to First Cry Parenting, being a consistent role model helps children develop a foundation of empathy and respect for others: "You do not have to be perfect to be a role model for your child. Your child just needs your unconditional love, support, and guidance."
Monitor Your Child’s Online Activity
Cyberbullying can happen anywhere and at any time. Staying involved in your child’s online life can help prevent issues before they arise. Knowing what they’re engaging with online and encouraging them to report bullying behavior, whether they’re a victim or a witness, can make a huge difference.
The COSMO Smartwatch provides helpful safety features that allow parents to set limits on what their children can access, including who they can communicate with. The latest version of our smartwatch for kids offers even more flexibility so you can create a safer online experience for your child and ensure they’re interacting in healthy, respectful ways.
Build Your Child’s Confidence and Self-Esteem
Young people with high self-esteem are less likely to engage in bullying or become victims of it. You can help your child develop confidence by encouraging their strengths and reminding them of their worth. Small gestures, like celebrating their achievements or supporting their hobbies, go a long way in building their self-esteem. Confident children are also more likely to speak up if they see others engaging in bullying and report it to a trusted adult.
Communicate With Teachers and School Staff
Staying in regular communication with your child’s teachers can give you insight into how they’re doing socially and academically. Teachers are often the first adults to witness bullying behavior in the classroom or on the playground, and keeping communication open can help address issues before they escalate.
According to Pamela Roggeman, Dean of the College of Education at the University of Phoenix, teachers and parents must work together to guide and support school-age children. "It is important that parents and teachers are as committed to connecting with, guiding, and supporting school-age children as they grow because bullying becomes more sophisticated and harder to observe as children get older."
When to Seek Help From a Mental Health Professional
Sometimes, despite our best efforts, the effects of bullying can have a lasting impact on a child's mental and emotional health. If you notice that your child’s mood, behavior, or overall well-being has changed significantly, it’s important to seek help from a mental health professional. Signs like depression, anxiety, withdrawing from social situations, or engaging in self-harm should never be ignored. These are signals that your child may need more support than you can provide on your own.
A licensed therapist or counselor can offer your child a safe space to express their feelings and work through the pain bullying may have caused. Therapy can also help your child develop healthy coping mechanisms and rebuild their confidence. If bullying has led to deeper emotional wounds, professionals are trained to help your child heal and move forward and can offer strategies that both kids and parents can implement at home.
Remember, seeking help is not a sign of failure as a parent—it's actually quite the opposite. By addressing the problem head-on and involving mental health professionals, you’re providing your child with the tools they need to recover and grow stronger. Bullying is an unfortunate reality that many children face, but with open communication, empathy, and the right support, you can help your child navigate these challenges and create a safer, kinder environment for them to thrive.
Additional Resources
- Get Help Now: Stopbullying.gov
- For LGBTQIA+ Youth in Crisis: The Trevor Project
- Suicide Prevention Resources for Kids 12 and Under: Suicide Prevention Resource Center
- Bullying Resources for Educators and Parents: Teach.com
